For those of you who live in a state with medical marijuana, which should be all of you, Points Envy has uncovered a new method for manufacturing points that, to state it bluntly, puts everything Frequent Miler has ever written to shame. 2013 ICECDIAC’s here we come!
The plan is almost too easy:
1) Obtain a prescription for medical marijuana*
2) Find a dispensary that accepts credit cards
3) Purchase large quantities of medical marijuana using any credit card, gift card, or prepaid card
4) Sell the medical marijuana for cash
20) Use the cash to pay off your credit card bill
For those of you who need a little hand-holding, we explain each of the steps in further detail below.
Step 1: Obtain a Medical Marijuana Prescription
Finding a marijuana-prescribing doctor is almost as easy as finding a credit card affiliate link on a points blog. Simply pick up any free local paper and look through the ads near the back to find a doctor near you. Schedule an appointment, show up, and explain to the doctor that you have anxiety due to your low points balances and inability to find Vanilla Reload cards. Or you can mention back pain, nausea, idiocy, or just about any other ailment. Remember, if it’s an ailment, marijuana can cure it. Your cost for this prescription will likely be around $40, provided that you shop around and look for subtle keywords like, “GET YOUR CARD NOW – WE’LL BEAT ANY PRICE!”
Typical marijuana doctor advertisement
Step 2: Find a Dispensary That Accepts Credit Cards
Many people forget that medical marijuana is legal, and they continue to assume that dealers dispensaries will only accept cash. Thankfully, this is no longer the case. You may have to call around a bit, but you should be able to find somewhere nearby willing to accept a credit card. They might initially press you for a cash payment, but you should be able to persuade them to take a card by repeatedly saying “C’mon bro.”
Step 3: Purchase Medical Marijuana with Your Credit Card
This is the easiest and most fun part of the process. All you have to do is walk into the dispensary, show the security guard your prescription, and then wait until they let you into the herbarium. Once inside you’ll be shown a variety of remedies. We suggest you ask for the best sellers, as you’ll need a popular strain for Step 4.
Step 4: Sell The Medicine for Cash
This is the most daunting step, but it shouldn’t take too long to get the hang of it. The easiest way to sell the medical marijuana is to find someone who looks like they would never be allowed in the premium cabin of an airplane. Then, simply walk by them and quietly whisper, “You lookin’ for bud?” In no time, you should be able to establish a large customer base. Some areas are more conducive to finding clientele than others, of course. We suggest trying parks, concerts, run-down neighborhoods, and high schools.
If he can do it, so can you!
Step 5: Use the Cash From Step 4 to Pay Off Your Credit Card Bill
All that’s left now is to deposit the cash into your bank account and use it to pay off your credit card bill. After that, simply repeat the five steps and watch the points continue to roll in!
So there you have it, dear readers, a game-changing points scheme brought to you first by Points Envy. We have found that the return on medical marijuana is much higher than that of buying prepaid gift cards for a couple reasons. One is that we generally make money and earn points from each run. Another is the potential for category bonuses: some dispensaries are properly classified as drugstores, while others show up as restaurants, perhaps because of the edible medicines available. Alternatively, this strategy could be implemented in tandem with whatever 5x everywhere scheme you are already using.
For the past couple months we have been moving roughly twenty pounds per week, earning well over 4.5 million Ultimate Rewards points in the process. But we recommend acting fast, as it’s only a matter of time before the animals on FlyerTalk catch wind of this strategy and kill the deal. For now, however, this remains a reliable and relatively low-risk** method for accumulating massive amounts of points. Happy Holidays!
*Our discussion here is limited to states with medical marijuana programs. If you live in Washington or Colorado, you could adapt this method by legally purchasing non-medical marijuana and then transporting it to another state for sale. We are pretty sure that as long as you are legally buying the marijuana, it will retain its “legal” status no matter where you transport it.
**Points Envy does not recommend this method if you are African-American, African, or any kind of black. The police will find a reason to arrest you. Still, that’s at least better than an American Express financial review. Please also note that if you set up your operation in certain parts of Phoenix, Honolulu, West or East Los Angeles, San Diego, Portland (Maine or Oregon), or Albuquerque, Points Envy may be forced to kill you.
